Welcome to the space between my ears.
This site is intended to be a continuing series of commentaries on the state of human affairs, the nature of the cosmos and the absurdity of life. It will contain facts, opinions, observations and shit I make up. It will be up to you to determine which is which, as I can’t be expected to do everything.
A little bit about me so you’ll know what you’re dealing with. “I was raised up in Indiana” which, as stated so eloquently by James Garner in Support Your Local Sheriff, “… can be either a good thing, or a bad thing”. I am a child of television, but with an abiding love of the written word. And comedy. My first comedy album was The Button Down Mind of Bob Newhart. That purchase was quickly followed by Wonderfulness by Bill Cosby which led to George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Redd Foxx and Steve Martin. My first favorite author was Kurt Vonnegut Jr., then John Steinbeck and J. R. R. Tolkien, with a little Ray Bradbury thrown in. I played drums in a rock band in and after high school, and as far as I’m concerned rock & roll still rules (right arm outstretched with thumb, index finger and pinkie extended). Seinfeld was hilarious, but for me The Dick Van Dyke Show is, pound for pound, the funniest sitcom ever to air. I bow to the writing of Aaron Sorkin and Chuck Lorre, which is utterly brilliant. I’m a nerd. Or a geek. Or a neek. Whatever the hipsters are calling it nowadays.
Racism, sexism, bigotry, intolerance and hypocrisy make me violently ill. Girls farting make me laugh.
Under threat of ostracism by the global interwebs community let me state right up front that I don’t like cats. I don’t watch cute cat videos on YouTube and I throw rocks at live ones that linger in my yard. Cats enjoy a privileged existence that I, as an adult male, am not afforded. Cats don’t have to pretend they know how to fix a computer. They can rub up against your girlfriend’s twin sister’s leg without recriminations. When cats lie around all day chicks think it’s cute, not annoying. With cats, size really doesn’t matter.
If I’ve offended you, I’m sorry. If I’ve insulted you, I apologize. If I’ve bored you, my bad. If you can’t take a joke, fuck you.
So, much like with Schrodinger’s cat, it is your perception which will decide whether my new blog series lives or is pronounced DOA. Leave a comment if you would like by clicking the Comments link and let me know your impressions of this site and my posts. I promise I won’t cry.